It's time to wake up

  

Today is International Women's Day, a day specially attributed to women. It's nice to dedicate a day to respect and celebrate womanhood. But isn't it more important to do the same thing throughout the whole year ? As for our country, women are doing pretty good in each and every fields, the percentage of working ladies have increased, they have become more self-sufficient, they are in every field and are successful. But it is only a fraction. The real status of women in our country is rather different. In a country like India, where women constitute 49% of the voter base, there is still a very high girl-child killing rate, low education rate among women, high death rate of women during or after pregnancy mostly due to malnutrition or mismanaged labour, because of neglect by her family members, and also high rate of dowry-deaths and rape. This shows the status of women in our country. Few success stories do not tell the whole story. 

Killing of girl foetus and girl infants are being done everyday in all parts of India. Some diagnostic centers and a few doctors, who forget the fact that they came to this noble profession to save people, not kill anyone, together can easily diagnose a foetus's sex. A lady is tortured and blamed for a girl foetus growing up inside her and even forced to abort her child. What is the fault of the baby, why can't she live, only because she's a girl?
And is her mother responsible for that? Why don't people understand that the chromosome from husband's sperm is responsible for the sex of the baby, not the chromosome of wife's ovum. Have anyone ever thought that if the girl children are being killed continuously then male:female ratio of our country will abnormally rise, and then who will those men marry ? Or else one woman would be married to many men, that will affect the family and social structure. Even that has happened to some unfortunate women in some parts of our country. Finally, who will give birth to the future generations, when there is no woman remaining? Luckily, it will not happen like that, only because there are still some people who welcome a girl child to their family, with the same amount of love and care as a male child, but we must have to think about it. When a girl child is born, the first thought that comes to most families is - how much they will have to pay as dowry at the time of her marriage. Girl children are not allowed to study in school in many societies. I have heard some people saying, "Kya hoga ladki ko padhane se ?" (What is the use of giving education to a girl ?).  Even if the parents give their daughter good education, and their daughter gets established, still they have to pay a huge amount of dowry at the time of her marriage. And it seems quite natural to people around them. If they are unable to pay dowry, then either their daughter remains unmarried, or is being tortured at her in-laws house. 

Why is a woman malnourished? Because she is the one who eats the leftovers, sometimes voluntarily. Many of us have seen our mothers to give us as much food as we wanted without thinking about themselves. When we were children did we ever think what she was going to eat if she had given all of the food to us? Women are not allowed to opt for birth-control measures in many societies, that leads to repeated childbirth, but they do not get necessary amount of nutritious diet, that further aggravates malnutrition.  

Each and everyday women are abused, at home, in roads, in public vehicles and even at workplace. The reason may be that some men still have not accepted the fact that women can be equally successful as them. Many people blame the modern, trendy and revealing dress of today's women as being responsible for this, but can anyone explain why a lady wearing a saree (which is the most decent Indian dress) or salwar-kameez is molested? If a girl is raped and she goes to lodge a complaint, she is asked uncomfortable and embarrassing questions during the procedures at police station and at court, regarding what she was wearing, did she behaved in any provocative way etc., even sometimes she is blamed of having a bad character. For all these reasons, many of the rape victims are afraid to go to police station to lodge a complaint and remain silent with unmeasurable humiliation in her mind and a completely destroyed self-esteem for their whole life. 

It is true that the attitude of today's men towards women have improved a lot from previous centuries, many of them respect ladies and accept their opinions, both at home and at workplace, but still most of them  think that ladies are fragile, weaker, inefficient and less competent than them. A lady may be physically less powerful than a man, but that does not correlate with her performance at job. She has to work harder than her men colleagues to prove that she has the ability in her for that job, and she is not taking any advantage of being a lady. But why? Why does she need to prove it ? She is the one who has to compete with others equally as a man to achieve success in her career. Moreover, she has to balance home and job simultaneously. No one spares her of her duties as a homemaker, to maintain her household. A recent study has shown that the Indian men are least involved in household works, while a lady, even if she's working, has to to everything, or has to keep watch on everything when the house-maids are doing their job. In India, a man still hesitates to marry a girl who earns more than him, and if a lady earns more than her husband, it becomes a topic for gossip in society. Why is our society like that? A man thinks twice to marry a girl who's got a transferable job, rather they prefer girls who does not have a job or earns less than them, and is ready to move with their husband, who has a transferable job, leaving behind her career and everything she has achieved with great effort. 

After marriage, a lady has to go to a new house, and adjust with new people around her who are her in-laws. But in many cases, her efforts are not recognised, and her minor fault becomes a big issue. Most of the ladies are not considered to give opinion in their in-laws house in any important discussion, this happens even in highly educated families. Switch on the T.V. and go to any channel, you will see a 'saas-bahu' (mother-in-law and daughter-in-law) show with terrified 'bahus' and dominating 'saas', and after few episodes those dominated 'bahus' turning into dominating 'saas'. And how backward are the concepts of these mega-serials-- a highly educated lady marries, gives birth to children, cooks at kitchen wearing heavy make-up, junk jewellery and silk sarees, and even sleeps wearing those. And these shows have the highest viewer rate. To some extent our entertainment media reflects our attitude and ideas. People today do not interact much to their neighbours or family members, in the evening when they are free after job or household works. They just turn on the television, and watch one after another mega-serial, all having nearly the same plot. People spend the evening watching the brainless serials, shouting and cursing the villains, and sympathize with the protagonist (who always is tortured, sometimes tries to fight but mostly remains silent). Though the same person who gets angry watching the mother-in-law torturing her daughter-in-law in the show, actually does not care about the problem of  her own daughter-in-law. No one tries to feel the problem she might be facing.  

Now talking of our society, look at the matrimonial page of the newspaper, what do the families prefer in those advertisements? A lady who has a fair complexion, who is well-behaved, educated and efficient in household work. Girls who are trained in singing and dancing are preferred. Education is of what use, if you cannot do anything with it, to be self-sufficient? Is it only to teach A-B-C-D to own children? Actually, what do these people want? An unpaid home maintenance person, who is educated, who can cook delicious dishes, and in addition to that, who also gives birth to their descendant (preferably a male child of course).  

Lastly, I would like to say, whatever I have written here, is not the picture of the whole country in general. Things are changing, though at a very slow pace. I must admit that there are exceptions in these each and every cases, but that is very few in number. It is not sufficient to bring a change. Only the young generation can change the future of our society. It's time to wake up. We are an educated nation, when will we change our attitude ? When will we consider women as human beings ? We will never be able to go forward if women are left behind. We will only become a successful nation, if we treat the women around us with respect, love and care, that is what they deserve.