If you don't mind, Let me be myself ..

The train was standing at the station. It was 5:00 o'clock in the morning. People came running towards the train, checked their names on the reservation chart and were getting into the train. Megha searched for their bogie number, checked their names in the chart and took her seat with rest of the people of their group. She was travelling with her in-laws, her husband Aakash's relatives. Aakash's family had a house at their hometown. Megha, married for six months,had not seen that house. Everyone in his family had settled outside far away from their hometown and they were not willing to keep the house anymore. His family members were negotiating a deal to sell it, and it was almost finalised. So everyone planned a trip for a last visit to the house. This time Aakash's two uncles and their wives, three cousin brothers and one cousin sister were coming with them. His parents, grand parents and rest of the members of their family had already gone to that house.

 The train started to move. Everyone got busy with their activities. Aakash and his brothers took out their books and concentrated on that. His cousin sister placed the headphone of her i-pod in her ears and started listening to music. His aunts opened their magazines. His elder uncle took out the print-out of their e-ticket and started checking it. Megha looked out of the window. She had taken a book but she was not in a mood to read it and was feeling sleepy, as she had to get up early in the morning to catch the train.

"Achha, who is Megha Bose by the way? Is any Megha Bose travelling with us?" 

Aakash's elder uncle asked looking at their group.

Megha looked at him. Everyone was looking at her. She understood what was going to happen next. It's the same thing that had been happening repeatedly since last six months. This time it was Aakash's uncle's turn.

"It's me, uncle", Megha tried to answer politely, though she was very irritated that the matter was not leaving her in the trip also.

The uncle smiled from the corner of his mouth and said to the aunts in a funny tone- "I thought we are all Gupta's. So Aakash, why is Megha Bose travelling with us ?"

"Uncle, it's because all her documents and certificates are of before marriage, and she did not change her title." Aakash said to his uncle.

The aunts smiled looking at each other. 

Megha had a feeling beforehand that such a thing may happen, but Aakash insisted to keep her own title for ticket reservation. He had done their reservation from their home. He said at that time, “It's a long distance travel, any mishap can happen, and you should travel by your own name.”  He was over cautious in such issues.                        

                                                        

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Megha and Aakash's marriage was a love marriage. They knew each other for four years before their marriage.Megha met Aakash through a common friend. After few months they fell in love with each other. Both of them were very brilliant students at school and college. They both bagged good jobs. When they were planning to marry, Megha made it clear from the very beginning that she would not change her title after marriage.

"What is your problem Megha, don't you like my title? My title sounds quite good." Aakash had said at that time.

"No Aakash, please don’t misunderstand me. I obviously like your title, but please try to understand my point of view. My identity lies in my title, I am what I am only with this title. I have been living with it since last 28 years. Everyone knows me by this title. Now I cannot leave it anymore. It may sound weird but I feel that if I change my title, I’ll lose my identity and may feel like I'm a different person. I cannot imagine people around me calling Megha Gupta rather than calling Megha Bose." Megha tried to explain.

"But our social system is like that Megha, everyone around us changes title after marriage, my mother did, your mother did and every lady in our family did. We have to be within our system. At least add my title to your title", Aakash was angry. 

Megha felt helpless, but still tried to convince Aakash- " See Aakash, it's not mandatory that if something is happening since centuries, it will go on like this. Once upon a time,  people were scared to travel across the seas, if someone did it, he would become outcast. But you see, today it's only about crossing the seas. If anyone gets on-site job offer, he jumps into it and his family members feel very proud telling other people that he's somewhere in the other side of the ocean...  People used to check 'panjika'* to know which time was auspicious, and went out of their home at that very moment. But do you check 'panjika' when you go to your office daily? We are educated people, and I respect my culture very much… But that does not mean I have to do everything that is in our culture. I am not saying that changing to husband's title is wrong or outdated, I'm just trying to say that I don't want to do it. Everyone has the freedom of doing what he/she wants. See, I don't like your habit of cigarette-smoking,and you know very well that it's injurious to health, but don't you smoke in front of me ? You are giving me examples of your family members, but see, there are so many ladies around us who have not changed their title after marriage."

*  [“panjika” is a book mentioning the date and time of  hindu festivals and holy rituals, published yearly ]

"Do not think about celebrities, they can do everything they want. But we are common people.. try to understand, my family would not accept it. And why are you marrying me if you do not want to change your title to my title?" Aakash shouted.

They were sitting at the food-court of a mall. Megha felt very embarrassed. She again tried- "Please don't shout. I am not talking about celebrities, many ladies among my colleagues and my friends have not changed their titles. Are not they common people? You can mention my name with your title everywhere else, but officially I'll use my title. I am marrying you because I love you and I want to be together with you for rest of my life. What really bothers me is what you accept."

Aakash was not at all ready to listen to anything. He grunted- "Finish the food and let's go."

That night Megha was lying at her bed and was crying. She was from a liberal family. Her parents had never forced her to do anything against her wish. And she had always been very careful to not hurt their faith on her. She was lost in thoughts.

Aakash did not call her in the next two days. Then on third day he called up and wanted to meet Megha at a coffee shop. Megha also wanted to talk to Aakash. Last two days she felt so lonely like living in a desert in spite of being surrounded by people at the office. 

"What is wrong with 21st century girls?" asked Aakash. He was smiling.

Megha felt like she has not seen Aakash's smiling face for years.

"Why?" Megha asked Aakash. She was confused seeing him smiling after their fight.

"You know, Bumba, my friend and colleague is getting married next month. Her fiancée is also not changing her title after marriage. Same is for Ajanta, my colleague." Aakash said.

Megha remained silent and waited for Aakash's conclusion on that topic.

"OK, don't change your title, I cannot live without you," Aakash said.

"I also cannot live without you, Aakash, but when I told you, you shouted….  And now when you see other people doing it, you agreed. You men are strange. Anyways, I'm happy you finally understood." Megha said and she felt relieved.

They got married after few months of that incident. Aakash's parents were not willing to accept her decision but he finally convinced them and they accepted it half-heartedly. After few months, one day his father was watching a programme on T.V. dealing with legal issues. There was a debate on that programme regarding changing or not changing one's title after marriage. Majority supported not changing title.

That day he said to Aakash- "Hmm, I can see that there is no legal problem in keeping the same title after marriage. OK, Megha can use it, but only in her profession."  There was a mutual understanding that Megha would use Aakash's title evrywhere else other than her professional field. Megha used her own title at her professional field. But few of Aakash's relatives were very jealous at both of them being very successful. They wanted to hurt them by any means and they did not miss a single chance to poke Megha and Aakash regarding this issue. Megha knew that they would never understand her feelings,and she did not expect them to understand her point of view...They may think that she's arrogant but she believed in herself and she knew that she was not doing anything wrong. She had always listened to her heart…

                                                             

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Rest of the journey was uneventful. The train arrived at the station.

"Oh.. finally we arrived," said Aakash's uncle.

Really, it was quite a long journey, Megha thought. They boarded the train at 6:00 a.m. and now it was 3:00 p.m... Nine hours of travelling in second seating compartment in the month of June. All of them were sweating heavily and they rushed to the ricksaw stand.

They reached their destination after twenty minutes. 

Aakash's grandparents greeted them at the entrance. They all went inside the house. Everyone took a bath and had lunch. After that they were sitting in the drawing room.

Aakash grandmother looked at Megha and started talking, "You came here for the first time, how is our house?

“It’s a very nice house, Thamma. There are so many trees in front of this house.” Megha said.  

[ ‘ Thamma’  is a bengali word meaning grandmother]

 “You know, we were living in a rented house for many years. But I wanted our own house, so we built it. I was always standing there and checking every details when the masons were working. I planted all these trees by myself. I did a tough job, you know. But now my sons and daughters don't want to keep it anymore, what can I do? I am an old lady and I must listen to them." Aakash’s grandmother looked sad.

Suddenly Aakash's aunt said, "Aakash, Megha has come here for the first time, go show our house to her, then take some rest. We are also going to take rest. Oh! it was such a hectic day."

Aakash showed the house to her. It was a nice,simple, spacious two-storied house in a small town, not like their 900 sq.ft. 3-BHK flat in the city. Sleeping arrangements were made at the ground floor as it was cooler than the first floor. They came down from the first floor and went to the bed. Aakash fell asleep as soon as he kept his head on the pillow.

It was a new place and a new bed. Megha was tired but she couldn't sleep. She could hear female voices speaking in low tone in the drawing room. It was beside the room they were sleeping. She earlier thought that everyone was sleeping. Hearing the sound she got up from bed and went towards that room to join in their chat. She was going to enter the room when suddenly she heard her name in the discussion. She got curious to know what they were saying about her. She stopped there. Now she could identify the voices. It was Aakash's mother and his two aunts.

She could hear Aakash's elder aunt saying, "Why is she Bose ? Why has not she changed her title?"

His mother said, "Didi, what can we do ? She is not willing to change her title and Aakash is also supporting her."

His younger aunt said, "See..all our daughter-in-laws have changed their title, why not she? If she's not willing, give pressure on her, but she must change her title. This should not go on.. Or, is there anything else? If she's faithful to Aakash, she shouldn't have any problem in changing the title.."

Megha could not wait there anymore. She returned to her room and sat down on the bed. She just could not imagine her life without Aakash. Neither did she want Aakash to leave his relatives. 

She just kept thinking-- "Society still doesn't totally allow women to live their lives as they want. I do not want to change the society, I only want to do what I feel to be right. It’s not possible for everyone to think in the same way, but everyone has to live their life within the society. I will have to spent my whole life with these people. They will continue what they have been doing, and in between all these I will try to make a space for myself.. If someone tries to stand for his/her own cause, he/she would get hurt in the process in every step. Others who give in to the demands of the society, live a secured, happy life without any turbulence. Life simply  goes on like this. I may get hurt like this, but I just can not lose my identity. "

Everyone in our country has rights to perform any action that does not harm others. And in every relationship, love and faith are the two most important things. If a lady, who loves her husband very much and is faithful to him, just wants to keep her own title, and does not want to change it to her husband's title, then it is not at all going to harm anyone. Then why all these things happen to this lady? Why can't she live her life the way she wants to ? 

Source: Google Images