Reflections..- Sayoni: The Rendezvous

Aman lived in Srinagar in a joint family. His grandparents, uncles, their wives and children.. all living under the same roof, in a big wooden house near Dal lake. His father was running their family business of making shawls with his uncles. It was not that much profitable but they were happy with what they earned. Sometimes they had to reduce the expenses at the end of the month, but no one complained with that.

Aman used to play with his cousin sisters and brothers and lots of other friends. Everyday was like a carnival to him. Going to school in the morning, returning with friends after few hours, and then a whole day of playing until the evening set in.... Going to school was very tough in winter. It was time for snowfall, everything outside their house was white with ice, and the roads were blocked. Their school used to continue for few days with that, but finally it was time for winter vacation, Aman’s favourite time of the year. He and his friends threw snow balls at each other, used to fall while running over the snow, again got up smiling and started to play. One thing they all loved to do was skidding down the hills.. Some parts of Dal lake was frozen in winter and they used those as their skiing field. He loved to make new friends. He specially loved to make friends with the tourists who came to visit Kashmir, new friends everyday. His father did not like his habit and he warned him not to talk with strangers, but Aman was Aman, and no one could stop him from making new friends, even if he’s a total stranger. His parents were surprised when they used to go out with him. He talked with almost everyone along the road like he had known them for years. Sometimes he and his friends used to take a shikara ride with his uncle and pick flowers from other shikaras which were selling flowers and vegetables in the lake.

Then everything started to change.
Their serene and quite valley was no more like that. The 'heaven on earth' was turning into hell. Bombs were exploding everywhere, people were running here and there with fear in their eyes.... The people of different religions, who were living happily together in the neighbourhood, sharing every joy and sorrow, became violent towards each other… and started to be afraid of each other..

Aman did not understand why they were fighting. When he used to fight with his cousins, his parents used to scold him very much, and they said, “ Fighting is an evil act. Love everyone.. The more you love people, the more are you going to get love in return.” He could not understand that, being a child, when he knew that fighting is the most cruel act in the world, then why those elder people can’t understand? What did they get from fighting with people from the same land? Their school announced a vacation for indefinite period. The tourists stopped coming and men wearing printed khaki coloured uniforms took their place. Aman tried to befriend with them, but they were not interested. His father told him that they had come to do their duties, to save the people. He asked his father, "From whom?" His father only said with tears in his eyes, "From those men for whom our paradise has turned into hell". Then one day one of his uncles died in a bomb-blast. Aman and his family was traumatised. Those men in uniform came to their house and interrogated everyone. They told his father that they were suspecting that his uncle was a terrorist. He asked his father the meaning of terrorist and his father told him-“Terrorist means a man who harms other men. They escape and the innocent people are being tortured for them.” But he was not ready to accept that.. He loved his uncle very much. His uncle was a very soft-hearted and helpful man. He never even killed a mouse. How could he be involved with the blast that killed so many people? Their whole family was terrified and mortified. But finally nothing was proved against his uncle. Curfew remained in force in Srinagar without any relaxation for few weeks. He could not go outside and play like before. His family was very worried. He heard them talking about leaving Kashmir and going to a safe place. But… how could he leave Kashmir? It was his homeland, with all his friends, and…..

Source : Google Image

And Roshni...
Roshni was a girl of almost the same age as Aman’s. She lived with her parents, in a house next to theirs, sharing a common wall between them. There was a window in that wall, and that was the way of communicating with her anytime he wanted to talk to her. She was his best friend. His partner in all the mischiefs he had done. She did not like doing those things, but she did everything only because of him.. Aman could say no to everyone, but not to Roshni. Since the first day of their friendship, he had not even once said or done something that could hurt her.

Roshni and Aman’s fathers were friends. Roshni’s father had a transferable job. He was also worried regarding safety of his family. He applied for transfer. They left Kashmir and went to Bhopal.

Aman’s family finally left Kashmir. First they came to Delhi, stayed there at a relative’s home for few days, and then they rented a house in old Delhi. It was in a congested, dirty area, but his family members could afford that only. He did not like that house. It was a heaven and hell difference between their house in Kashmir and that in Delhi. But one thing he liked of that area. Lots of children of his age. He soon made many friends. His father and his uncles started a new business in Delhi.

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Since last fourteen years Aman and Roshni have been writing letters to each other. They still preferred to write letters in stead of communicating through social networking sites. There was no social networking site when they left Kashmir. They didn’t even imagine that one day there would be so many of them. And when the websites were there, he wanted to communicate with Roshni through them, but she was not willing.

As Aman was growing up, he could understand that he actually was in love with Roshni. He did not know from when did he fall in love, but as long as he could remember, she was always with him... in his heart... Each time he saw a beautiful girl anywhere, a sweet smiling face flashed in front of his eyes. But every time he wanted to express his feelings to Roshni in his letters, he barred himself from doing that, because she never mentioned anything like that in her letters, and he did not want to make any mistake regarding such a delicate issue that could spoil their friendship. He studied hard to become successful in life so that no one could raise objection in him marrying Roshni.

Roshni, on the other side, was also in love with Aman. To her, the relationship of her with Aman was the most treasured one. It started with a friendship when she was a child, turned into a relationship when she was growing up, and finally transformed into love when she was a teenager. She wanted to hide the fact that she loved him from her parents, because she knew her parents would never accept it at that time. When they had telephone in their home, she told Aman only to call once in a month at a pre-scheduled time. She waited for his monthly calls and his letters. His letters were her most precious possessions, the closest things to her heart. They changed homes, but she never forgot to take all the letters. Aman gave her hints that he liked her and was willing to meet her since last few years, but she was waiting for the perfect moment to meet him, and then tell her parents about their relationship. She used to think that the relationships fade out in social networking sites. So when Aman asked about her online profile for sending friend request, she denied. And after her graduation, when her father wanted to give her something as a gift, she didn’t think twice before telling him, “ Daddy, please give me a trip to Kashmir.”

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Good morning passengers. This is your captain speaking.....

Aman listened to the captain's announcement before take-off and fastened his seat-belt. The air-hostess presented the flight safety briefing.

The plane took off. Roshni had agreed to meet him, at the same place where they first met, Srinagar. He was more than happy hearing that. He was finally going back to his homeland and Roshni, at the same time, after fourteen long years. His father felt very dejected when he left Kashmir, and he never ever went back there. Aman took out a photograph from his purse, a black and white photo, which he always carried with him.

"It's surprising how much memory is built around things unnoticed at the time." -

Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams

It was of his and his father’s, he sitting on his father’s shoulder.. when he was five years old. Their peaceful valley had then started to turn into a valley filled with gunpowder smoke. He was going out with his father wearing his favourite 'pheran'. His uncle, who was dead in the blast, had a camera, and captured it. He did not have any photo of that uncle. It was his only memory of his uncle, even though he was not in that photo. A picture can say a thousand words.... The photo reminded him of everything that had happened in his childhood, the bittersweet memories of Kashmir.. his sweet childhood days, his friends, the bloodthirsty people, the harassment of innocent civilians, increasing trepidation that orphaned and widowed thousands and left hundreds and thousands dead, mass graves of unidentified bodies and losing one of his dearest relatives. If his father had not left Kashmir with thousands of other people, he might have been one of them.... But sometimes the bitter memories are so much attached to the sweet memories, that one cannot separate them. Aman tried to forget the painful episodes, but those were associated with fond memories of his uncle and Roshni consoling him every time he was heavyhearted. So he decided better not to try again.

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The plane was going to land in few minutes. Mughal emperor Jahangir said about Kashmir- “Gar firdaus, ruhe zamin ast, hamin asto, hamin asto, hamin asto” (If there is ever a heaven on earth, its here, its here, its here).

He was absolutely right. Aman could not stop himself from looking out of the airplane window. An exhilarating landscape was beneath him. The snow-capped mountain ranges all over the horizon, the green valleys, and the blue rivers intervening.

"Where we love is home,
Home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts."
Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr., Homesick in Heaven

Aman went out of the Srinagar airport, and immediately felt at home. He was away from Kashmir for fourteen years, but he felt like he had come back after only few days. He wanted to go to the place where they had lived, but he first wanted to meet Roshni. He hired a car and headed for 'Char chinar' island, the place where he and Roshni had decided to meet. It’s a small island with four beautiful 'chinar' trees in Dal lake. Kashmir is appropriately called the heaven on the earth. After so many attacks, the beauty of Kashmir still holds it's old charm. The Himalayas, with ice on the peaks, sparkling in bright sunshine.. the lush green tall trees on both side of the road. Even after a decade, it still looks the same.... He was thinking while looking out of the window of the car... and will Roshni look the same? Just one hour more, and I'll meet her.. But, has she come? Am I running after a mirage? And if she has come, how will I recognize her?.... He had only one photograph of her, which she had sent five years back..

It was off-season, and so Srinagar was less crowded. Peace had returned a bit in the valley. Tourists had started to come again. He reached Dal lake, and rented a shikara. The boatman was paddling slowly, going forwards in between the houseboats parked in the lake. He looked at his wristwatch, only few minutes left. As he went nearer to the island, he saw another shikara near the island. He asked the boat man to go towards that shikara, and could see that a lady sitting alone in that shikara. When his shikara reached there, she looked at him, and in a moment her eyes sparkled with joy seeing him.

Aman was in a perpetual state of breathless excitement.“Are you Roshni?” He asked her.

“Yes" She said and then excitedly asked, "And you... Aman?”
He could not believe his eyes and ears. He felt like he was dreaming. "Yeah!" He could say at last.

Aman could not wait anymore. He paid the boatman of his shikara, told him to go back and went to Roshni’s shikara. Roshni was wearing a red 'pheron', and was looking like a perfect 'Kashmir ki Kali'.

He sat beside her. For few minutes they just kept looking at each other…. that little boy had turned into a handsome man.... and the little girl had metamorphosed into a beautiful lady... Roshni’s eyes were full with tears of happiness. He did not need any more signs to be sure that she loved her.

"How did you recognize me?" Aman wanted to know after few minutes.
"Your face has not changed Aman. You look the same as you looked years ago." She said and then took out a laminated photograph from her handbag and showed it to him. It was the same black and white photo of him sitting on his father’s shoulder.
"Oh my God !!.." Aman said looking at the sky and then looked at Roshni. "That's why you never asked for my photo, and I was such a fool..! I thought you didn't want to see me again."
"No wonder you are the same! Who knows you better than me? You had given it to me when I was leaving, but I knew you'd forget." Roshni smirked at Aman .
He smiled shyly and said looking at her, "You cannot put the blame on me. I was so engrossed in memories of a girl, that I could remember nothing else."
Roshni smiled.
Cool breeze of morning was touching their faces.

Aman held her hands and said looking at her eyes,“Before we talk about anything else, I would like to ask you something. Roshni, I love you, will you marry me?”

Roshni had been waiting for that moment since years. She dreamt of the moment several times but never thought that it would be more romantic, more enchanting in reality than her dream. She looked into his eyes and said, “Yes.... I will.... I love you too.. I accepted you as my husband in my mind years back,…. But?”

"But what?" Aman was anxious to know the reason.
"I need some more time. You've got a job, but I need a little more time to study further and become established. " Roshni said.
"Only this much?" Aman breathed a sigh of relief and smiled. "Take your time, I'm going nowhere. And by the way, who is going to marry you now?" Aman winked her eye at Roshni. "I'm just asking you to marry me.... I've waited for fourteen years for this day, can't I wait for another few years?"
He pulled out a small box from his pocket, opened the box, took out a gold ring and slipped it on her finger.